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Seriously! Do as Your Parents Wish!
Have You ever noticed how the Clothing Fashion Trends seem to go backwards?
It dawned on me the other day when I realized I had been wearing the same clothes for years. Time to do a little shopping!
When I got to the store I noticed the Kids section had all of these multi-colored Bell Bottoms and Peasant Blouses. Wow! Just like I had wished the outfits looked when I was a youngster.
Some of the Bell Bottom Pants even had a piece sewn in making it look like the ones my Sisters used to sew up when the pants got too short.
My favorites were the ones they sewed in pieces of bandannas in the sides and on the knees and as new hemlines. Way cool!
Which now brings me to reflect on My own definance as a kid.
You see as a young girl I of course was never allowed to wear these clothes to school.
I remember, my Mom used to give each of us kids money to buy our own clothes. Her guidelines were no wild colors, tie-dyes, peasant blouses or short skirts. Must be cotton or natural fibers and always should fit.
One time my sister and I went out shopping and I don't know why, but I bought all these cool clothes. My sister sternly told me "Mom is never going to let you get away with that!
"The thing is with My Youthful zeal! I just had to try."
Needless to say! My Mom threw a fit when she saw the stuff I came home with, and even though she was a very busy woman (raising 6 kids and worked full-time) went with me on a Saturday downtown to 'straighten me out'.
I had to buy dresses, lot's of dresses, because it was important for me to "act like a lady".
Mom made sure to take me to the undergarment section of every single store we went to and embarrassed the heck out of me asking! "Do you have any Training Bra's?"
UGH! I swore if she said it one more time I would vanish under the collar of my sweater. My face had turned bright red with embarrassment so many times I thought it had become permanent!
So, we got all these dresses. I hated dresses. I Couldn't play Softball or Kickball in a dress, and when I went to go on the Monkey Bars ! My Underwear would show were the thoughts running through My head.
The other thoughts of how was also very cold and rainy where we lived and those tights were too hot.
They would slide down and bunch up around my ankles or rip out in the knees. And the the knee-hi socks were too cold. There was no happy medium!
We finally got home and me, with My 'Training Bra', which was terribly uncomfortable and all My New Dresses I was very dismayed at how not cool I'd be in all this girlie girl garb.
Though You see I was getting ready for the school pictures just the very next day.
"Yes! I had a plan! This was the dress I wanted to wear, but I am telling Mom I will wear this other one...so she won't try and stop me" I said to myself.
I then Went in and showed Mom my outfit the one she picked out and she agreed that it would look really nice.
The next morning I got out of the tub and combed my hair straight.
Mom though had other ideas... No she said That will not do!
Then Mom proceeded to put it up in tight rubber bands and clips so tight that my head hurt.
Then to make matters worse she said I needed to wear a slip, because the training bra showed through the dress. OK, but I looked in the mirror and this was a disaster.
My Mom then seemed happy with what she saw and she headed off to work.
I waited for her to go , and quickly took off the dress, the slip and that training bra, replacing it with a "cool" one which had multi-colored stripes. It had a scooped neck which gave me the opportunity to wear my brother's 'Life Symbol' necklace.
It looked like a Peace symbol, but later on I found out that the Oval shaped one is a Life symbol and the Round one is the Peace Symbol.
Then I took my hair out of those terribly 'girly-girl' clips and rubber bands and brushed it back out straight.
This Fifth Grader was a Happy Girl and very ready for her school pictures.
When we got the pictures Mom saw them. She said "Why are they giving you last years pictures!
" Ha ha ha, well needless to say , I got in big trouble!
My Mother tried so hard to at least make me appear to be a nice little girl and she ended up with this "Hippy Chick" 5th grader picture to send out to all the Grandmothers and cousins.
I was not aware of it but I had broken my Mom's trust, hurt her feelings and embarrassed her to no end over the years with those pictures.
Every time I see that picture I remember what happened that year, and how I betrayed my Mother.
Then there was Another clothes incident where I refused to conform one year later.
I was in the sixth grade, and went to a Catholic school where we wore Uniforms.
I got to spend All my clothes Money on regular clothes! Yeah! My parents still gave me the same amount of money for clothes shopping, so you can guess,...I was in Heaven!
This year the Style was Levis501 Shrink-To-Fit Jeans, and Addidas Country running shoes with a t-shirt. Also Swabby sailer pants were in fashion.
Being an avid window shopper, I knew right where to go!
I took the bus downtown and bought 4 pairs of Swabby's at the NavySurplus store. This included a brown and a beige pair of these original bell-bottom pants, and 2 blue-jean pairs.
I went to the Fishing/Hunting Outfitters store across the street and bought 2 pairs of Levis shrink-to-fit 501's.
When I got home I poured 1/2 a bottle of bleach over my 2 brand-new pairs of Levis. Let them soak a while and washed them in the washing machine.
Man! Was I cool! These pants fit like a glove,...and the one pair was Nearly Already 'Worn-In' at the knee, HOW COOL!
NOT! It wasn't Cool at ALL when my Dad came home from work and saw me proudly showing off my new fashion statement.
The quote "You're Not Wearing Those Clothes Anywhere!" comes to mind. He also said "No kid of mine is going to be seen with holes in the knees of their pants!"
Then the familiar story of how he grew up during the depression, how they ate toast for dinner and his Mom sewed her Nylons with a piece of Human Hair and the whole bit about how Jeans with holes in them were a Symbol of Poverty.
Once again, I had a total lack of respect for my Dad's wishes. His simple request of Not Wearing those clothes Anywhere was easy!
What did I do? Wednesday night we went to a potluck dinner at our church. My Dad taught woodshop there. I was the last one in the car...wearing my then holy-kneed Levis.
Dad didn't notice it until We were at the Church.
If you could see his Face when he saw what I was wearing it was Pretty Sad.
If I had Known how Much it hurt my Parents to continually Defy them, and do things which they told Me NOT to Do, I tell You...I would maybe have listened more to the things they were saying!
The reason You see to Me I was just acting as a Kid, My parents were acting as a force that was against me.
Ultimately though I knew My parents did truly love me.
They were just trying to show me there was a given time for the personality I was!
My parents were only showing me the right places and times!
Which I was to find in life was not School, Church, or Special events.
The Old Adage rings true! there is a time and place for everything but act accordingly!
So remember as Kids we just do not realize how parents are really trying to Help us, they if good Parents are not trying to Criticize or put kids down. Parents have their reasons for making these Requests and often, if explained the Child will comply.
See, we as Parents are too short with our kids. I think if We give the children More Reasons!
Why we are enforcing these guidelines They will be more likely to Comply with Our wishes.
If we can avoid hurting their feelings intentionally remember to do so. But try and be a little more patient with them, because sometimes there really IS a Happy Medium, and a Kids thoughts or ego to be cool can shine through
Remember sometimes, Good advice or even a hug can change a defiant attitude
So show Your kids or other kids as an Adult Your only trying to make them a better person teach them to love themselves as only You can do!
Author Susan Allen
JerSooz Enterprizes
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